My mom says you don't really know how much you can love until you are a parent. She says it's the kind of love that hurts you so much. The kind of love that almost scares you because it consumes you. And she says she never knew she could feel so much.
I'm not a mom. Well, I did get the best potential mother award in highschool as a senior, but I digress. I'm not a mom, but I am a sister and a friend, and a youth leader. And I think I have felt a little drop of this kind of love. It is the kind of love that leaves a hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach. The kind of love that makes you almost wish you could not feel, because it's so consuming.
This kind of love is what I think could be called God-love. I can't even imagine how God must feel. He is the big dad. The father of generations of children, and He has had to watch for thousands of years as His children break His heart, over and over.
Oh God, how do you stand that?
How can you stand to watch your kids leave your house?
Take their money and run?
They saw how good your love was and said "no thanks"
They felt your awesome touch and said, "You're not real"
And still, You would take them back
In a second, you would open up your door and say, "Finally home"
Being in church for many years means I have seen many people walk away and choose a life without their Dad. Some come back after years away. The prodigals. My heart breaks with this God-love. If MY heart, my small heart, can hurt so much, how must the giant heart of my Father feel?
Please, come home.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
A Lesson from Harry Facing Death
So, I've been thinking today about time. About how easy it is to waste, and about what an appropriate use of it is.
Not to be morbid, but I was reading a book the other day where the main character was facing death. Ok, Ok, this main character was Harry Potter, I admit it. But, our character was going to a certain end, and his thoughts along the way were so different from mine. He was thinking about how here he was clinging on to his final moments, appreciating the cool air on his face, the silver of the moon, the smell of pine in the forest, while other peoples' lives would drag on for years and years. And that got me thinking.
I started thinking about how my life drags sometimes. I experience a fun event, a heartfelt conversation with a friend, a great run outside . . . and then I have those moments in between. You know? Those moments where you are just waiting for something to happen. And it drags.
Back to Potter - if I were facing death, though, it would be ironic that some people have lives that will go on and on for a long time, while my own was going to be cut short. I probably would kick myself for those times where I was just waiting for something to happen.
I HATE when people say live each day like it's you last. Maybe "hate" is too strong of a word. But, here is why: I don't like how cliche it has become. I don't like the thought of spending a day knowing I was going to die the next day (I think it would get me all anxious and worried about making the most of the opportunity). Those are the two main reasons.
So, I'm not into living like I am dying. BUT, I do think taking little Potter's lesson into consideration is a good idea. People say life is so short. But, when you are 21 and trying to get through school, sometimes life just feels loooong. My parents say they look in the mirror and can't believe that the reflection is really theirs. They can't believe time has gone by so fast.
I think as young people, we feel invincible, and as though we will be young forever and have a very long time to do the important things that need to be done. Now, I'm not saying I'm afraid of a life cut short, but what I AM saying is I don't want to be waiting for something to happen, enjoy the event, and then go back to waiting. Time, time, time. It can be a treasure or a curse.
Not to be morbid, but I was reading a book the other day where the main character was facing death. Ok, Ok, this main character was Harry Potter, I admit it. But, our character was going to a certain end, and his thoughts along the way were so different from mine. He was thinking about how here he was clinging on to his final moments, appreciating the cool air on his face, the silver of the moon, the smell of pine in the forest, while other peoples' lives would drag on for years and years. And that got me thinking.
I started thinking about how my life drags sometimes. I experience a fun event, a heartfelt conversation with a friend, a great run outside . . . and then I have those moments in between. You know? Those moments where you are just waiting for something to happen. And it drags.
Back to Potter - if I were facing death, though, it would be ironic that some people have lives that will go on and on for a long time, while my own was going to be cut short. I probably would kick myself for those times where I was just waiting for something to happen.
I HATE when people say live each day like it's you last. Maybe "hate" is too strong of a word. But, here is why: I don't like how cliche it has become. I don't like the thought of spending a day knowing I was going to die the next day (I think it would get me all anxious and worried about making the most of the opportunity). Those are the two main reasons.
So, I'm not into living like I am dying. BUT, I do think taking little Potter's lesson into consideration is a good idea. People say life is so short. But, when you are 21 and trying to get through school, sometimes life just feels loooong. My parents say they look in the mirror and can't believe that the reflection is really theirs. They can't believe time has gone by so fast.
I think as young people, we feel invincible, and as though we will be young forever and have a very long time to do the important things that need to be done. Now, I'm not saying I'm afraid of a life cut short, but what I AM saying is I don't want to be waiting for something to happen, enjoy the event, and then go back to waiting. Time, time, time. It can be a treasure or a curse.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)