What a Wretched Man?

I like my life right now. It is different. In some ways emptier. In many ways more full. Remember when I was talking about the pruning that God was taking me through and how He was trimming off the excess stuff. That process is not complete. Haha. What a laugh! That process won't be complete until I see Him face to face. But, you know, that is a comforting thought to me; that followers of Christ don't have to be perfect on the first try.
I used to think , and sometimes still do, that maybe I'm not made of the right cloth to be a true follower of Christ. I screw up so much. And usually, when I think I have it together, I don't. I used to get a little worried about myself. I would look at the descriptions of followers of Christ: selfless, compassionate, willing to sacrifice all for the cross. And then I would look at my own life and see the following: selfish, judgmental, not willing to give up simple, petty things. Of course this discrepancy caused me some discomfort. But, then I came across this passage in Romans and it totally helped me!
Romans 7 has this monologue from Paul. I can just see the guy with his pen, or feather quill (what did they use?), scribbling madly in frustration. Paul goes on this rant talking about how what he wants to do he doesn't do, but what he really doesn't want to do, THAT'S what he does. It's all a little depressing. But, I totally relate. And that gave me so much comfort. If this apostle who claimed to be a lover of Christ could admit those things, maybe I'm not a lost cause.
The next line that Paul says gives me the most comfort of all. Paul says, "What a wretched man I am! Who will save me from this body of ?" And then comes the cou de gras: "Thanks be to Jesus Christ." This Christian thing is not for the perfect, not for the people who are able to be "pruned" in one sitting. It is for the lost causes, the people that have a hard time being perfect and doing what they're supposed to. It's a process, and it's only through HIM that we get anywhere.
I know there are still so many areas of my life that need to be pruned, but I'm so thankful for what Christ is doing in me. For example, a few short weeks ago I was addicted to a few things, and He pulled the plug. These were a few things I'd been hanging onto for awhile! And, He changed me. Also, I used to be much quicker to judge and get offended. But, I keep hearing Him say, "Love bears all things." The older I get, the more I see that relationships should not easily be let go.
Well, I'm going on a road trip Monday to Colorado to visit family and looking forward to that! Should bring a plethora of new insights to share. Goodnight.