So, my parent were talking at the dinner table today, like they always do. And the candles were glowing, and the rest of the room was dark. All I could see were their faces, and my dad's blue eyes. That pale, blue that has faded with time, but still stares me down with such intensity. He looked at me and then looked around at the rest of us. He told us about how his friend died last night from a tumor in his brain. I never met the man, but he had a son who loved him a lot. Now he's gone and it's almost Christmas, and that is the worst. He asked me what kids thought when d eath happens, what kids thought about the new president. And I answered honestly, "I think alot of kids are in denial."
Denial is a blissful place, for a while. As a kid, when I heard about d eath and dying, it seemed like worlds away. I heard with my ears and understood it in my head, but never felt it at the deepest part. I would hear of sad things happening and then forget about it soon after. The older I get, the more that part of my life has changed. Denial is not a comfortable place anymore. I don't think it's always bad that kids live in denial. I think that is part of the reason they are so happy. They can't feel all the pain in the world. Wow this is a bummer of a post. I'm really not depressed or anything. Just thinking. I'm thinking about how in our society, we still try to live in denial. Like with d eath. It is something so ugly to us that we push as far away possible. Like an odor in a room that's unwanted, we cover up the smell with perfume, or just leave the room. We try to avoid it. But we can never completely avoid reality. Until we go to be with Him who has always been.
Denial is a happy place. But only for awhile. Eventually, you will wake up. I did. Lord, be with that son who lost his father.
And to think, God feels every pain. Loves every person like his favorite child.
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